The Harsh Reality for Average Guys on Tinder
Imagine this: the average guy on Tinder swipes right 40 times only to get one match. 52% of men get less than a single match per day, and a staggering 13% get less than one match per week. This is the literal nightmare of online dating! Through working with hundreds of clients, we’ve uncovered a shocking truth: the Tinder algorithm is systematically hiding average guys.
Dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble have a severe gender imbalance, with nearly 80% men. This means you’re competing against “top-tier” guys who often have better looks, more financial resources, and higher-quality photos. Online dating is a marketplace, and competition is everywhere.
What’s worse, even if you get matches, most of them lead nowhere. Women on these platforms are bombarded with options, and they naturally optimize for the person who offers the best experience or is simply most attractive.
Our Goal: How to Stand Out?
As an average guy, our aim isn’t to get 100 matches per week. Instead, we want to target 20 to 50 matches per week (combined across one or multiple apps). Once you hit this range, you’ll enter a state of abundance, making it significantly easier to set up dates simply due to the law of averages.
Simultaneously, we need to focus on our match-to-date conversion rate. The ideal conversion rate is 5% to 10%. If your rate is below 5%, it indicates a need to improve your conversational skills.
Variables Influencing Your Results (Some Out of Your Control)
- Your City: Major metropolitan areas generally offer more opportunities than small towns or suburbs.
- Your Looks: Attraction is instinctual, especially online. You don’t have to be the most handsome guy, but you must meet her minimum looks threshold. This means your style, facial expressions, surrounding environment, and who you’re posting pictures with can all lead to disqualification.
- Your Age: Dating apps typically match within a 2-6 year age range, usually not exceeding 10-12 years.
- The Algorithm (ELO Score): Each app has its own algorithm, but simply put, it’s your profile score. This score is based on how many people you’ve liked vs. how many people have liked you back. The more likes you receive, the higher you’re ranked. The key to solving the algorithm issue is simply to get more likes.
The Three-Step Framework to Beat the Tinder Algorithm
Most average guys struggle because they don’t try hard enough or lack knowledge. They often present themselves worse than they actually are. To beat the algorithm, you need a clear framework.
Step 1: Optimize Your Profile
Your profile consists of pictures, prompts, and bio. Pictures are the most crucial, followed by prompts, and then the bio (though a poorly written one can still disqualify you).
Core Principle: Craft “Universal Appeal”
- Avoid Writing an Autobiography: Revealing too much kills mystery and intrigue. Women are naturally drawn to men whose intentions are slightly unclear and who possess an element of mystery.
- Prompts: Primarily used on Bumble and Hinge to spark positive emotion and encourage women to message first.
- Pictures:
- Avoid overly “masculine” or hobby-centric photos: Excessive gym selfies, rock climbing, hunting, or fishing photos might not appeal to the “female gaze.”
- Curated and Professional Presentation: Your profile is like an advertisement for yourself as a “product” targeting your “customers” (women).
- Hire a Competent Photographer: Someone who understands what women find attractive and can capture your best image in high quality. High-quality photos don’t look “try-hard”; they position you as a top 10% guy.
- Photo Retouching: Women use makeup, filters, and editing to look their best. You should too, but avoid catfishing. Tools like FaceApp or Facetune can make you look more photogenic, elevating you to an “above-average” level (6-7 out of 10).
Don’t Only Use Tinder: While this video focuses on Tinder, it’s often not the best-performing platform. Try Hinge, Bumble, Facebook Dating (especially good for men over 35), and other apps to broaden your options.
Step 2: Master the Dating Funnel Communication System
Most guys try to set dates directly on the app or talk for too long (2-3 days) on the app, leading to conversations dying out. We employ a “Dating Funnel” system designed to build comfort and familiarity, reducing flakes:
Dating App → Instagram (IG) → Number → In-person Date
- On the Dating App: Keep conversations brief, around 5 messages.
- Move to Instagram: IG is excellent for showcasing different attraction triggers, proving you’re a real person (not a catfish or serial killer) through photos and stories. In IG DMs, send a voice note or two to build further comfort.
- Soft Close: Once comfort is established on IG, try a soft close: “Hey, this is going well, let’s meet up and talk more soon?” (without setting a specific time/place).
- Hard Close: When she shows interest, propose a direct date: “How about we grab a drink at XXX on Friday night?”
- Get the Number: Once she agrees to the date, immediately get her phone number.
- Day-of-Date Follow-up: Send a confirmation message on the day of the date.
The 15-Message Rule: Roughly 5 messages on the dating app, 5 messages on IG, and 5 messages via text before aiming for the date. This prevents conversations from dragging on and improves efficiency.
Elevate Your Personal Presentation (Personal Consultation)
If you’re looking for personalized guidance, including identifying your weak points, crafting an attractive image, selecting the best photos, building a compelling profile, mastering messaging strategies, and even optimizing your Instagram account to leverage the dating funnel process, consider seeking professional help. With expert guidance, you can significantly improve your dating success within weeks.
Remember, beating the Tinder algorithm is not just a technical game; it’s a comprehensive upgrade of your personal presentation and communication strategy.
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